It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
