I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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