So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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