i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
