when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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