You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
