he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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