this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
