Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
