no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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