I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize