Welp...herpes.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i've created a new STD.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
