I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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