I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
