Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
