oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
