In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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