how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
