I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm passing your future prison.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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