I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
