It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
