my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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