dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
