This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
