wat bout pragnant strippers??
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
