3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
