It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
