All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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