My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
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When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
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Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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