At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
