Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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