it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
