woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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