people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize