we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
