it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
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God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
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Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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