So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
