I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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