It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize