last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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