Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
