I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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