During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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