How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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