So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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