To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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