Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize