remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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