I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
