So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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