i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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