I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.