I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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