I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.