Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
