just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
