is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
