I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
