I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
