Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
