Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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