fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.