Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
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I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
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Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.