She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
this will be a night to untag.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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