So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
